Take Russia. A few weekends
ago, we gathered up the clan and headed out to Brighton Beach, which sits way
out at the ass end of Brooklyn, right smack in between Coney Island and
Manhattan Beach. Brighton Beach is home to a large population of Russian
speakers, many of whom come from Odessa (giving Brighton its nickname, Little
Odessa), and the main drag, Brighton Beach Avenue, looks and feels like its
right out of central casting (well, other than the el train, I suppose).
Do yourself a favor and start
out with a stroll along the boardwalk. On this sunny Saturday we were lucky enough to witness a
chorale group of over 20 people singing Jewish New Year songs while facing the
sea; Rosh Hashanah was only a day or two away. At the venerable Volna and Tatiana Restaurants, with their big, round
tables on the boardwalk, groups of middle-aged men (at one table) and women (at
another) were merrily downing shots of vodka at 2 in the afternoon. If you think that bottle of cold water
you’re grabbing out of the cooler is water, take a second look – Tatiana’s
cooler is full of cold, half-bottles of Stoli, which won’t quench your thirst
as much as water, but might make you decide to take your shirt off – as a
number of men at that table we were watching had done – and lemme tell you, the
shirtless, suspenders over bulging gut look is all the rage in Little Odessa
these days...
After our walk, it was time for a late lunch/early dinner and we headed over to Café Glechik, which bills itself as a Ukranian Fusion Kitchen in New York. Whatever; it’s Ukranian at its core, and a glechik is “a clay jar, jug or crock with something delicious inside.”
After our walk, it was time for a late lunch/early dinner and we headed over to Café Glechik, which bills itself as a Ukranian Fusion Kitchen in New York. Whatever; it’s Ukranian at its core, and a glechik is “a clay jar, jug or crock with something delicious inside.”
Our first glechik came loaded
with a huge order of “Siberian” pelmeni, filled with veal, beef, pork and who
knows what else, all funk and juice inside…
Vareniki always make a nice accompaniment
to pelmeni, especially this order of farmer cheese stuffed ones, served with
sour cream for dipping, just in case your cholesterol hasn’t ascended into the
stratosphere yet…
Who can go to a Ukranian
restaurant and not order stuffed cabbage?
Not me. As one of the ladies at our table commented, probably the best
stuffed cabbage she’d ever tasted; this version was far from the often
too-sweet versions that showed up when I was a kid…
Making quick work of those
appetizers wasn’t really a problem for our group - I mean, Significant Eater and SMcPickles can really pack it away. So it was on to our main
courses.
Kebab doesn’t quite describe
what you’re served when you order from that section of the menu. Our lamb ribs “kebab” was actually a
platter weighted down with luscious and salty grilled lamb ribs, buckwheat
kasha better than my grandma ever made, cabbage slaw and plenty of onions…
The “Glechik” stew knocked it
out of the park. A big hunk of beef shoulder, braised into fork tenderness,
served in its juices with a dozen or more fried potato vareniki, all of it
strewn with handfuls of parsley and dill. Wow…
All of this food, along
with 3 glasses of beer and a compote (which tastes more like Hawaiian punch
than you can imagine) for the driver, came to under $80. There might be some Russian oligarchs
floating around Brighton Beach, who probably spend a lot of money on fancy
women, fancy minks, fancy diamonds, fancy cars…and lousy basketball teams –
meaning the restaurants had better be a good value.
No trip to Brighton is
complete without some shopping. Food shopping, in our case. Even though this is
where your lack of language skills might show up, have no fear. Everyone’s friendly at Net Cost Market (though they might not look it – you know, like my grandfather from
Minsk, they’ve got those Soviet genes) and I managed to buy breads, pickles,
olives, cheese, sausages and even a tea specifically for my uterus, without a
problem. The range of products at Net Cost is fairly amazing; just wandering
the aisles is a mini-vacation in itself.
So listen up…the next time
you’re thinking about flying Aeroflot to Moscow, do as they say in Brooklyn and
fuggetaboutit. Brighton Beach is so much closer.
3159 Coney Island Avenue
1655 Sheepshead Bay Road
Brooklyn, NY
608 Sheepshead Bay Road
and multiple locations