Global Warming is a Scam...Well, Maybe Not

I know, I know. I complain a lot about the heat (just look at my last post). But you gotta admit, this summer has been unusually, ahem, warm. Actually, this year has been one of, if not the, hottest years on record, and not just in New York or DC. Globally, if you must know. Yep - the average worldwide temperature in 2010 has been about 1.25 degrees hotter than ever before. Oceans, too. But, you know, there's no "global warming." After all, didn't it snow last winter? A lot. So, how can there be global warming? Well, listen up, and take your heads out of your asses, all you naysayers. Let's change the term from global warming to what it really is and that's climate change. It's happening. Won't affect any of us in our lifetimes, but come back in a couple of hundred years and check out the shitshow. If you don't believe me - here's the science.

Okay, I usually don't rant and rave about stuff like this - Significant Eater is so much better at that than me. I'd rather just be pissed off about other things, like how annoying it is to cook during the summer. Well, I suppose it's not all that bad if you have a nice house that's all air conditioned. But in a tiny NYC or DC apartment, it's really tough.

But, lest you think I'm always cranky, I have a confession. I do cook, but only a wee bit. I mean, I love the stuff that's available in the summer (and only in the summer) at my farmer's markets. There is beautiful corn. Great green beans. Tomatoes that taste like...tomatoes. And on and on. I make breakfast every single day because if you didn't know this about me, I hardly ever go out for breakfast. Brunch is, in my opinion, one of the biggest scams in the world. So, the one meal I cook every day is breakfast. Here's what I made for SE and me this morning...

Nice, right. Farmer's market tomatoes and eggs along with some delicious toasted 7-grain bread from Pain d'Avignon, a great bakery that has a location at the Essex St. Market and often sells its wares at the Hester St. Fair as well as the New Amsterdam Market.

At the farmer's market last week, the bi-color corn was gorgeous...

The yellow wax and green string beans were beautiful too. Kirby's were in abundance. So, continuing with my no cooking trend, I decided to make a batch of pickled vegetables. After all, quick pickles (I like Chris Schlesinger's book about quick pickles, btw) only involve bringing the brining liquid to a boil and then pouring it over the veggies. And that's what I did with my haul from the market. A couple of days later, a plate of pickles accompanied a nice sandwich, and if you've never had pickled corn, you don't know what your missing. And you won't even have to turn on the stove.

How Hot Is It?

Restaurateurs - listen up. I have one word for you...Friedrich.

Allright, admittedly, I'm a grouch...just ask Significant Eater, our friends, family, anyone I come into contact with, whomever. But, something happens every summer, and it doesn't make me happy. That is, either restaurants in the city are not turning their air conditioners on at all or they're greatly lowering the amount of conditioned air they're sending out.

I mean, there was a summer night not too long ago when SE and I were looking for a place to eat; have I mentioned that I also don't cook that much in summer? So we walked over to this wine bar on Broome St. called The Ten Bells (which, btw, looked cute and fun with a nice menu and gentle prices) and its windows were flung open to the street - meaning, hey, I'm not eating there. Or drinking, for that matter. Because, you know, it's not bad enough that it's a million degrees in your friggin' restaurant, but the view of the garbage bags on Broome is just not my thing. I mean, it's not exactly the Piazza Navona, is it?

Then, walking further west, we got to Kampuchea (the restaurant, not the city) - and guess what? Windows flung open to the street - meaning, hey, I'm not eating there either. And finally, walking back east to 'inoteca, whose windows were blessedly closed and whose A/C was on...along with a nice bottle of vin rosato to add to the chill, it's where we contentedly ended up with only a 30 minute wait.

Just this past weekend, some friends stopped by for "a" cocktail, so after a few drinks we decided to go to An Choi on Orchard Street for some Vietnamese food. Guess what? Windows thrown open to the street, no a/c on - oy. Because I'm the nice guy that I am, we ate there anyway, and I only complained a little. I mean, the food is decent enough and the waitresses were wearing what could best be described as beach wear, so wtf.

Now, you gotta understand, during the winter I've eaten in restaurants in this city that have portable heaters set up inside. Eaten while wearing my coat. Eaten while freezing. But, there's only so much clothing one is allowed or encouraged to take off - and trust me, I'm not going that far and no one is encouraging me. And it wouldn't help. New York in mid-summer is basically disgusting - hot, humid, smelly...everything you think it would be. And I love it - New York City, that is...but I want air conditioning when I'm spending hard earned money for lunch or dinner in your restaurant.

It also seems that restaurants which still have that beloved a/c on seem to be edging their thermostats higher - obviously, everyone is feeling the energy squeeze as the price of heating and cooling eat into a restaurant's profits, but if you're charging me $16 for a damn hamburger, cool the room, zippy.

So, does anyone else notice this - or is it just the grouch in me? Or, maybe it doesn't bother you at all (perhaps you're from the equator? Or Mercury?) Please, tell me I'm not the only one.

And it's not like I'm really wishing for this, but there are times...

Otto

For the first time in a long time, I ate at Otto last night. Otto is a restaurant owned by one of my favorite chefs, Mario Batali, along with Joe Bastianich, and they are two of NYC's most successful restaurateurs, if ever there were. Otto is modeled after an Italian train station, and if you've ever been to an Italian train station, it captures the feeling fairly well...well, except that there aren't any children trying to pick your pockets.

I guess one of the reasons (or perhaps THE reason) I haven't been back in a long time is the general level of crowd-ed-ness of the place. The other night was no exception. But when 2 friends and I popped in around 9 o'clock, after too many cocktails at Pegu Club, we were seated at the bar in under 20 minutes...and it's nice that the bartenders pretty much keep everything in check as to who is waiting for seats... a good touch.

In order to get some food in front of us as quickly as possible (cocktails make me hungry), we ordered a ration of the house-cured smoked paprika salami, which showed up in an instant, along with a bit of bread (to help soak up the booze). It didn't last long...


We know that the house cured meats at Otto are and always have been, great. But it's also a bit amazing that 7 or 8 years on and the kitchen is still putting out very good food, even excellent food at its price point. At $4 a pop, the vegetable antipasti are good. But double that price, and order a seafood starter - that's when you're convinced that the kitchen knows what it's doing. So along with the green beans and charred onions, we had perfectly cooked shrimp with chilies and garbanzos. Simple - yes. Delicious - undoubtedly...

Then we moved on to a pizza. Now, I've never had great things to say about the pies at Otto, and others have had similar reactions - the style is not to everyone's liking. But our pie, with arugula pesto, ricotta and chilies, topped with a handful of fresh arugula, was as good as any pizza I've had in a long time - including a recent trip to Totonno's to taste Coney Island's best once more...

Moving on to entrees, we each had our own pasta dish. I reluctantly shared my buccatini al' amatriciana, and my dining companions shared theirs as well: one was a penne with spicy cauliflower and the other spaghetti alla carbonara. All 3 were, in my opinion, textbook examples of proper pasta cooking and proper saucing. Oh, they were delicious, too - and is there any other place in Manhattan doing pastas this good for $9?

Dessert - 3 gelati to share. Do I need to say more? Okay, the olive oil gelato is still capable of stopping conversation - not ours of course, but you get the picture.

There's no way this place needs to get any more popular than it is. But if I can remember to pick and choose my days and times correctly, it's worth adding it back to a semi-regular rotation.

Otto
One Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10003
212-995-9559

All pictures thanks to Lauren A. and her awesome iPhone thingie.